Reflections

I've wanted to show this work I'd done 16 years ago at a graduate program that will not be named for some time now. I also wanted to write about why I don't do this kind of work anymore. The images are about memory, race, gender and capitalism ( a timely topic). I paired images from my childhood and "gangsta haiku" text I lifted from the internet. These pieces illustrate how black male identity is shaped through capitalism, consumerism and sexism. The video below from ArchDuke deconstructs how black male is perceived and told what and how to think at a young age. This video inspired me to look back on this work and provide a proper context. My images were made as a critique of identity and capitalism and how violence is done to young black men that limits their sense of self. The text obscures, commodifies and simplifies the complexities of black subjectivity and everyday life.

These pieces were  an important part of my artistic development and crucial for my recovery. At that time my work was inspired by writings from bell hooks, Cornel West, Greg Tate, Samuel R. Delaney, Ralph Ellison, Amiri Baraka and art from Carrie Mae Weems, Isaac Julien, Marlon Riggs, Felix Gozales-Torres and Paul D. Miller.  However the problem was that my work hinged on confirming sexist, white supremacist, capitalist hegemony. Also this work was mostly seen by whites who were quick to chuckle, categorize and passive-aggressively dismiss my practice as about cultural theory and nostalgia. But my interests didn't strictly lie in illustrating or confirming this violence of sexism and consumerism done to the development of the black male identity. It was in the affirmative energy of Great Black Music of the Art Ensemble of Chicago, DJ Mixes of Larry Levan, the writings of Samuel R. Delaney, and the many improvised, experimental and electronic musicians I was listening to at the time. With sound, I was also able to create spaces with sound and objects that did not exploit black pain. Plus, there were a lot of young black artists who made better work about race anyway. I was especially interested in digital sound processing and field recording and how that lends itself to the affirmation of my existence as a black artist, the complexities of my subjectivity time and space. It was also a chance to use my own body as a performer / DJ who does not "serve" or "entertain". This change was not taken well in the grad program I attended. I was promptly put on probation until my last semester, was goaded in to fighting a tenured professor ( I didn't take the bait!) and local curators avoided me. But somehow I still showed and performed in the Bay Area and worked with some great people who are still friends today. But make no mistake, being yourself is a very dangerous thing as a black artist, it is very lonely, hard work and I have suffered dearly for this. I thank my friends and family for their support. I am truly blessed and would not be here if not for them.